I don’t even know what to title this thing. Everything sounds so cliche. Anyways, this is pretty much about a side you don’t usually see in me – or maybe you do… I will admit that I am extremely embarrassed to be sharing these thoughts with you, but I feel like I can trust you.
So as summer went on, I continued to delve into the wonderful world of K-Pop. Yeah, yeah, lots of people don’t like K-Pop, but I’m assuming if you follow this blog, then you ARE possibly interested. Or not, I have no idea.
Whether you’re interested or not, my laziness this summer gave way to lots of fantasizing. (Actually, this topic is so weird/embarrassing to talk about, but heck, maybe I’ll laugh back at it years into the future.)
Anyways, at first I was looking up K-Pop idols’ auditions then continued to search up the audition process and whatnot – out of sheer curiosity. After looking at a lot of sources, I was like, “You know, it sounds like doing this kinda stuff would be fun to do for a living.” And I wasn’t being serious about ME doing it or anything, but I did like to think about what it would be like IF I was able to experience it.
So I don’t quite know everything about auditions and being a trainee and even being a K-Pop idol. Yeah, websites often mention the hard work before and after debuting, but everything done on camera just seems so amazing, it’s kind of hard to hate on the way their system works – or at least that’s my opinion.
Sometimes – even now – I just feel so strongly about wanting to audition, and other times I feel like it’s the most ridiculous idea in the world. I’ve always loved performing on stage and I’ve been dancing for over 10 years but I never even considered making performance a part of my future. Heck, I’ve even laid out plans such as getting a full diploma, which university I want to go to, and what I want to be a professional in (career-wise).
Even considering trying out for an audition makes me confused about what I actually want to do in life. I don’t even know why I’m taking the whole being a K-Pop idol thing seriously, but sometimes it seems like such a real possibility. And then I start thinking that this is irrational and that I should stick to my previously mentioned plans “because becoming a part of K-Pop is near impossible.”
I know some of you are probably thinking, “Oh, your education is more important! The training is super hard!” and other things like that. Or maybe that’s just what I’m thinking. xD
I really don’t even know if I’m just thinking like this because it’s summer and I’m brain-dead or if I’m seriously considering doing this. You guys are the first people I’m telling about this. (I haven’t even told my family.) I seriously don’t know if this is a real interest of mine or not. My thoughts just keep swinging back and forth.
Anyways, I guess I really don’t know what’s going on in my life anymore. Not that I knew in the first place. I just wanted to get this off my mind – whether I’m actually going to take this subject seriously. I’ll make another post on this matter later, I guess…